SLEEP!!!!

When you are pregnant, many moms will tell you, "Sleep now while you can!" They will cackle like a witch when they say this. You will think "what a creep!" and "Maybe my baby will be different!" I hate to tell you that they are 100% correct! Your baby will be unique for sure, but I don't know any mom who has come out of the new born haze without some sleep deprivation - well maybe rich women who have a baby nurse or nanny! If you are one of those women, please quit reading this because I hate you! Rich women with baby nannies who get lots of sleep, I hate you more than you can ever comprehend!

Ok back on track here, I am going to try to give you my two cents about how to survive the sleep deprivation and "baby blues" - not to be confused with postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is very very serious and I am not a doctor, nor have I suffered from it, so if you really think this is your issue, call your doctor immediately! I have suffered from extreme sleep deprivation and a little bit of the "baby blues" and I am a survivor (as are all moms, because we all make it through to the other side). 

SLEEP:

Yes, rest as much as you can now! It is a lame thing to tell a pregnant woman, but it is also true! Your entire world is about to be flipped upside down! Nothing will prepare you for what you are about to encounter! If you are a control freak and a "type-A", this will be the hardest for you! You cannot control everything related to your baby from the second your go into labor until, well, probably ever. Your baby will not have a schedule at the beginning and possibly for months at a time. Once you find yourself in a great baby routine, a week later, your baby will change the routine! Your baby will want boobies non stop some days and you will have those milkers out all day! Does your hubby have the boobies? Nope, you do! It is a blessing and a curse! Your hubby will never share that bond that you have with your new born baby, which is an amazing bond, but in return, you may never sleep again! Despite the sleep deprivation,  I feel lucky to share this bond with my girls!  While you are in the middle of this non-stop boobie-buffet accompanied by nearly non-stop crying and/or rocking/bouncing/swaying around the house (See the Happiest Baby on The Block Book), you will have days where you cry... a lot! You will have other days where you get 5 hours of sleep and feel like you are on top of the world! You will not have days where you get anything over 5 - 6 hours of sleep for a while, unless you do a lot of bottle feeding that your hubby can help you with.  Bottle feeding either means lots of pumping or formula feeding.  Pumping seams to add extra stress for new moms at the beginning and I recommend waiting until your baby is a couple of weeks old or more before you try to start a system for saving up milk. I think for the first couple of weeks it is best to keep it simple.

IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST BABY:

Sleep whenever the baby sleeps! They told me this... like most new moms with that adrenaline rush, I didn't listen! When you come home with your first baby, you may feel a little anxiety! There are no nurses to help you! I remember thinking - are they really letting me out of the hospital to care for this tiny baby all by myself? What are they thinking??? You may also be infatuated by this adorable little eating/pooping machine! You may find yourself staring at them constantly or taking millions of pictures and texting them to everyone you know! You may also be freaked out about SIDS and check constantly to make sure they are still breathing (this was my obsession the fist time around and even the second time). At any rate, no matter how much they tell you to sleep, when you first come home, you probably just wont for a couple of days until things settle down. Oh and you will have tons of visitors too! That will definitely keep you from sleeping when baby sleeps! At any rate, once you settle down, be sure to sleep whenever you can! Your body will heal much faster and you will be less likely to have postpartum depression. 

IF THIS IS YOUR SECOND BABY:

You will get even less sleep than you did with your first! Your hubby wont be as much help with this baby because he will be tending to your other kid(s). You will be more calm and want the sleep, but your other little friend needs you too! When the baby sleeps during the day, you will need to spend quality time with your other child! The sleep deprivation is insane! 

WHETHER THIS IS YOUR FIRST OR TENTH BABY:

* Sleep whenever possible

* If anyone (family, friends, the mail man, whoever) offers help, say YES!!!

* Accept the fact that its okay for your house to be a little messy right now and quit cleaning all the time!

* Take a shower every day! They say its not possible, but I promise that most days you can fit in a quick shower! Do it while the baby is sleeping... do it when someone else is holding the baby... find the time! A shower will make you feel so much more human and functional.

* try to make yourself feel cute - nothing is more depressing than sitting around the house all day and on top of that, being stinky (from not showering), and wearing your husbands T shirts and sweats... try to find a few minutes to put on a tiny bit of make-up or buy a cute sweat suite that makes you feel less frumpy! It sounds very very superficial, but it helps! I put a little make-up on most days and it just makes me feel like I am part of the real world. Its weird, I know! With the first baby, I rarely showered, dressed super frumpy, and didn't make any time for myself at all and it was way way more stressful and the "baby blue" days were so much worse!

* Go somewhere every day! Whether you take a walk around the neighborhood, go to the grocery store for a few items, go to Target, or run small errands; getting out is important! It will make you feel so much better! I know its scary taking a brand new baby out of the house at the beginning, but they will be okay! Don't take them to a super crowded store where people are coughing all over the place, but a nice weekend morning at Target or the mall isn't going to hurt your baby and it will make you feel good to get out of the house!  Trust me!!! If you stay in the house every day all day, you will get depressed or at the very least, cry a lot and feel a little crazy!

* Whenever you feel down or like crying, it is okay! But be sure you talk to others about it! You are not a failure if you feel sad or like crying! You are a good mom! But talking it out with a more sane, less sleep deprived person will make you feel better! Whenever I feel really sleepy and weepy, I call my best friend to talk me through it, or have my local best friend come over to chat and tell me about her life in the real world... or even your mom! I often vent to my mother-in-law and she is very sweet and kind and comforting! Sometimes you just need someone to remind you that you will survive and that others have been there too! Your husband can be helpful if he is the sensitive type - hee hee! The fact is though that if they don't have a vagina, they can't understand you or what you are going through! It isn't their fault! They are MEN! Most of them don't deal well with emotions and crying!