SLEEP!!!!

When you are pregnant, many moms will tell you, "Sleep now while you can!" They will cackle like a witch when they say this. You will think "what a creep!" and "Maybe my baby will be different!" I hate to tell you that they are 100% correct! Your baby will be unique for sure, but I don't know any mom who has come out of the new born haze without some sleep deprivation - well maybe rich women who have a baby nurse or nanny! If you are one of those women, please quit reading this because I hate you! Rich women with baby nannies who get lots of sleep, I hate you more than you can ever comprehend!

Ok back on track here, I am going to try to give you my two cents about how to survive the sleep deprivation and "baby blues" - not to be confused with postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is very very serious and I am not a doctor, nor have I suffered from it, so if you really think this is your issue, call your doctor immediately! I have suffered from extreme sleep deprivation and a little bit of the "baby blues" and I am a survivor (as are all moms, because we all make it through to the other side). 

SLEEP:

Yes, rest as much as you can now! It is a lame thing to tell a pregnant woman, but it is also true! Your entire world is about to be flipped upside down! Nothing will prepare you for what you are about to encounter! If you are a control freak and a "type-A", this will be the hardest for you! You cannot control everything related to your baby from the second your go into labor until, well, probably ever. Your baby will not have a schedule at the beginning and possibly for months at a time. Once you find yourself in a great baby routine, a week later, your baby will change the routine! Your baby will want boobies non stop some days and you will have those milkers out all day! Does your hubby have the boobies? Nope, you do! It is a blessing and a curse! Your hubby will never share that bond that you have with your new born baby, which is an amazing bond, but in return, you may never sleep again! Despite the sleep deprivation,  I feel lucky to share this bond with my girls!  While you are in the middle of this non-stop boobie-buffet accompanied by nearly non-stop crying and/or rocking/bouncing/swaying around the house (See the Happiest Baby on The Block Book), you will have days where you cry... a lot! You will have other days where you get 5 hours of sleep and feel like you are on top of the world! You will not have days where you get anything over 5 - 6 hours of sleep for a while, unless you do a lot of bottle feeding that your hubby can help you with.  Bottle feeding either means lots of pumping or formula feeding.  Pumping seams to add extra stress for new moms at the beginning and I recommend waiting until your baby is a couple of weeks old or more before you try to start a system for saving up milk. I think for the first couple of weeks it is best to keep it simple.

IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST BABY:

Sleep whenever the baby sleeps! They told me this... like most new moms with that adrenaline rush, I didn't listen! When you come home with your first baby, you may feel a little anxiety! There are no nurses to help you! I remember thinking - are they really letting me out of the hospital to care for this tiny baby all by myself? What are they thinking??? You may also be infatuated by this adorable little eating/pooping machine! You may find yourself staring at them constantly or taking millions of pictures and texting them to everyone you know! You may also be freaked out about SIDS and check constantly to make sure they are still breathing (this was my obsession the fist time around and even the second time). At any rate, no matter how much they tell you to sleep, when you first come home, you probably just wont for a couple of days until things settle down. Oh and you will have tons of visitors too! That will definitely keep you from sleeping when baby sleeps! At any rate, once you settle down, be sure to sleep whenever you can! Your body will heal much faster and you will be less likely to have postpartum depression. 

IF THIS IS YOUR SECOND BABY:

You will get even less sleep than you did with your first! Your hubby wont be as much help with this baby because he will be tending to your other kid(s). You will be more calm and want the sleep, but your other little friend needs you too! When the baby sleeps during the day, you will need to spend quality time with your other child! The sleep deprivation is insane! 

WHETHER THIS IS YOUR FIRST OR TENTH BABY:

* Sleep whenever possible

* If anyone (family, friends, the mail man, whoever) offers help, say YES!!!

* Accept the fact that its okay for your house to be a little messy right now and quit cleaning all the time!

* Take a shower every day! They say its not possible, but I promise that most days you can fit in a quick shower! Do it while the baby is sleeping... do it when someone else is holding the baby... find the time! A shower will make you feel so much more human and functional.

* try to make yourself feel cute - nothing is more depressing than sitting around the house all day and on top of that, being stinky (from not showering), and wearing your husbands T shirts and sweats... try to find a few minutes to put on a tiny bit of make-up or buy a cute sweat suite that makes you feel less frumpy! It sounds very very superficial, but it helps! I put a little make-up on most days and it just makes me feel like I am part of the real world. Its weird, I know! With the first baby, I rarely showered, dressed super frumpy, and didn't make any time for myself at all and it was way way more stressful and the "baby blue" days were so much worse!

* Go somewhere every day! Whether you take a walk around the neighborhood, go to the grocery store for a few items, go to Target, or run small errands; getting out is important! It will make you feel so much better! I know its scary taking a brand new baby out of the house at the beginning, but they will be okay! Don't take them to a super crowded store where people are coughing all over the place, but a nice weekend morning at Target or the mall isn't going to hurt your baby and it will make you feel good to get out of the house!  Trust me!!! If you stay in the house every day all day, you will get depressed or at the very least, cry a lot and feel a little crazy!

* Whenever you feel down or like crying, it is okay! But be sure you talk to others about it! You are not a failure if you feel sad or like crying! You are a good mom! But talking it out with a more sane, less sleep deprived person will make you feel better! Whenever I feel really sleepy and weepy, I call my best friend to talk me through it, or have my local best friend come over to chat and tell me about her life in the real world... or even your mom! I often vent to my mother-in-law and she is very sweet and kind and comforting! Sometimes you just need someone to remind you that you will survive and that others have been there too! Your husband can be helpful if he is the sensitive type - hee hee! The fact is though that if they don't have a vagina, they can't understand you or what you are going through! It isn't their fault! They are MEN! Most of them don't deal well with emotions and crying! 

Baby Natalie is Here!

Dear Mommies,

It has been nearly four weeks since my last confession.... My last blog was Friday, September 21, when I announced that after our little scare, our baby was growing and thriving in my tummy.... It turns out that the baby wanted out! The very next day, my water broke and labor began. It happened on the couch while watching "Bubble Guppies" with Emily, and while my husband was at a golf fund raiser for his football program. I will share the entire store soon! 

Natalie Rose was born on Saturday, September 22 at 9:55pm via C Section. She was 6lbs. 1oz. and 19 and 1/4 inches long. She is small but nearly perfect and beautiful! She is doing really well and I am slowly starting to feel human again!  Natalie is nearly four weeks old now and I am ready to continue my blog. I really wasn't functioning very well except for basic survival until last week and this week I am ready to take on more. I will try to continue my blog now, since I really do enjoy sharing my thoughts with, well whomever, about being a mom and what I have learned.

The C Section was a rough recovery and I am still not 100%!  Baby Natalie is very healthy and happy and thriving with her big big blue eyes and that is the important thing! Emily (our three-year-old) loves her baby sister and is very sweet and gentle with her. I just wish she was sweet and gentle with mommy too! It has been interesting but wonderful and I will share all about it in good time! 

In coming blogs, I will share new words of wisdom about new borns, three-year-olds, breast feeding and the like! Feel free to comment if you have a request of something you want to know about! 

Healthy Growing Baby!!!

We went in for our growth scan today and Baby Girl is doing great! She is growing and the placenta is doing its job pumping all the good stuff to her! She will probably be a little bit smaller than my first one, but she is healthy and growing! I am so happy and relieved and will sleep so much better tonight knowing that she is growing and healthy in my tummy!  Our scheduled c-section for this little one is on October 1st - unless she wants to come out and get some snuggles early! I was hoping she would miraculously flip to head-down on her own, but she is really stuck in the breech position. The ultrasound tech said that the baby's but is stuck down really low into my pelvis! Many babies come out with a cone-head - mine may come out with a super ghetto booty or a cone-butt! ha ha!

So we have about nine more days until we get to meet this little girl and I am getting excited! Soon you will be reading crazy ramblings of a super tired mommy on this blog! 

I can't wait to hold my little one and snuggle her - that is the thing I look most forward to. This pregnancy has been tough and it will be so amazing to finally see her and how beautiful and healthy she is. The next will be when Emily comes to meet her little sister! Its going to be so cool! Emily is going to be the best and bossiest big sister this side of the Mississippi! She already tries to boss our dog around with no success! Now she will have an actual human under her control! She tells me every day about how she is going to teach her baby sister to ride bikes and play base ball.  I have been preparing her for the reality that the baby will not be doing much for a while besides eating, sleeping, pooping, crying, and maybe a smile here or there.  

One last thought before I go to sleep - I haven't told Emily anything about breast feeding yet. I don't know how to explain it ahead of time, she will just have to see it. I feel like we have a lot of funny discussions in our immediate future! I will try to hide the breast pump for as long as possible though! That could traumatize an adult! For you first time moms out there, that pump is going to turn your nipples into a national geographic special! They will look like cow utters for about 10 - 20 minutes after you pump! It will be disturbing to you even after you do it a hundred times! The actual breast feeding really isn't bad at all! Its nice, calming and you get to snuggle your little soft newborn! Its a pleasant experience for the most part! Its the pumping that will be discouraging! But remember ladies - pumping is your ticket to freedom! Think of it as a milk bank! You make a couple of bottles - you just bought yourself a trip to get a pedicure or go to the mall all by yourself... You make several bottles - you just bought you and your hubby a date night out to see a movie! Pumping is a necessary evil for independent women who need to have "Me" time and who have to go back to work when their babies are still breast feeding! I just can't imagine what Emily will be telling all of her friends at pre-school once she sees how babies really get milk! While it is one of the most natural things in the world, to Emily, it will be quite an interesting spectacle! I just hope she doesn't ask to try it too!!! 

To Grow or Not to Grow... that is the question

I have been a bad blogger-mommy this week! It has been a weird week! Monday was my last day of work and I have been off for some pre-baby doctor ordered R&R! I have been finally able to relax and rest now that I am not at work and my long-term substitute teacher has taken over my job and is doing fine!

Tuesday was our Non Stress Test (NST)... This is basically just a baby monitoring session in which they place a heartbeat monitor on your belly to monitor the baby's heart beat for 20 minutes to an hour. My Baby Girl's heart rate is wonderful! After the NST, we talked to the Doc for a while and she answered all of my neurotic questions and put me at ease. She said that her heart rate is great and that means she is getting plenty of oxygen to her brain and body. There could still be a problem with the placenta or cord if she hasn't grown any, but we will find that out tomorrow and if she isn't growing, we will get her out of there and get her growing out of the womb! I am closely monitoring her movements at home and if she doesn't move enough, obviously I have to go to the hospital immediately! She has been a good little mover for me all week! 

Tomorrow afternoon is the ultra sound that determines if she has grown at all in one week. The Doc will also check the blood flow from the placenta to baby via Doppler at this time (some sort of ultrasound device that detects blood flow).  If she hasn't grown at all or if he sees anything concerning, we may have a little baby tomorrow night or possibly Monday. If she is growing and thriving in there, they will keep monitoring her via NST every few days until our planned c-section on October 1st (she is breech). It is entirely possible that she is just going to be a smaller baby. That does happen! It just seams so odd for that to happen in either of our families! 

She has been doing some pretty big movements in there! I think she might be trying to flip herself to the correct position, and the poor little thing is stuck! She always ends up with her head back under my right rib! I wish I could help her move! 

I don't know if anyone actually reads my blog, besides EB, but if you do, think positive growing baby thoughts for me tomorrow!!! 

Sorry I am not very witty or entertaining today. I am just a sleepy pregnant girl who is worried about her little baby! 

R & R:  I will say that I think every pregnant woman deserves to rest for a couple of weeks before their baby is due if they can afford it! Even with the worry about my baby, it has been very nice and relaxing to be home and resting and keeping the stress of work out of my brain for a little while! I feel like I am healthier and in a better mental state and ready for this baby! I also get to spend some extra alone time with my 3-year-old before the baby comes and that has been nice too! We made cupcakes today and that was fun - except for when Emily just couldn't wait for them to cool any longer and started picking little pieces off of the cupcakes and eating them while I wasn't looking. She mutilated three cupcakes before I noticed what she was doing! That kids loves cupcakes!

My idea of working until the end was a bad one and I am glad that the Doc said I needed to slow down and be resting! You have to love a doctors note that requires you to rest! If you have a stressful, on your feet all day, non-stop kind of job, its just really hard to keep going at the end without wearing yourself out! Having another kid (or kids) already really magnifies the stress and exhaustion by ten or more! Take care of yourselves ladies! That is my advice for today! In the long run, its better for you to get some rest and not be stressed. Save up that energy for child birth and all those sleepless nights to come!  Soon enough your life will be on a strange time schedule full of boobie feeding, trying to remember whether you left off on your left or right boob, getting baby poo all over yourself, forgetting to shower for days on end, and trying to figure out how to safely bathe your slippery little newborn without dropping her. Being a new mommy is a wonderful thing, but it takes a lot out of you, so you may as well start off with a full tank right? Right!!! 

Operation "Baby Flip" Was a Flop! :(

The Bad(ish) News: The ECV procedure in which the doctor tries to manually flip the baby from breech to a head-down position was unsuccessful yesterday. The doctor tried to flip her, but her little butt and hips are stuck down too low into my pelvis. It was a painful and awkward procedure, but I am glad we at least tried it. My lower uterus is sore every time the baby moves today - a weird bruised sort of feeling!  We have a C-Section scheduled for October 1st. I am still not thrilled about having the C-Section, but I know that its best for us and that everything will be ok.  

The Scary(ish) News: One thing that the doctor discovered while attempting the ECV procedure is that our little baby girl is a bit on the small side. She is approximately 5 pounds and at this point, the average baby is 6 pounds or more. This is concerning. It could be nothing, just a small kid, or it could be a sign of trouble. Emily (my three-year-old) was 7lbs. 9oz. and she was almost two weeks early. My husband and I are not small people and even the shortest people in our families (our moms) are average height. In fact Emily is in the 100th percentile for three-year-olds. Baby Natalie is estimated to be in the 7th percentile for babies at this point in pregnancy. Her heart rate was monitored for over an hour and it was strong and great... she looked healthy via ultrasound. She is just smaller than she should be. Because of this, the doctor wants to monitor her and make sure that she is growing and not having any issues. At home I have to be extra aware of her movements and kick-counts... On Tuesday, we will be going in for a Non Stress Test (NST), where they will monitor her heart rate for an hour to make sure it is steady and consistent. Next Friday, the doctor will do another ultrasound to check her growth rate. If she hasn't grown at all or not enough, we may end up with a C-Section that evening. If she is thriving and growing, then we will continue to monitor her until our scheduled C-Section date.  I was a crying pregnant mess once we got in the car from the ECV appointment! It was a lot to process - kind of a mommy-brain explosion started to happen - The baby won't flip - boom - you have to have a c-section - boom - she looks a little too small - BOOM!!! - oh and, you need to stop working and rest until the delivery date - BOOM! It was a lot to think about and a lot for me to obsessively research online all in one night! 

Obsessive Online Research Discoveries that were actually helpful and comforting last night:

1. after thoroughly searching the world wide web, I discovered that I have been a good pregnant mommy! I haven't done anything on the list that causes babies with low birth weights, and I have done all of the right stuff. I take my vitamins and eat well and take good care of myself. There is nothing I could have done to prevent the possibility of a small baby. Even stress hasn't really been proven to cause low birth weight. This made me feel a little better at first, but almost more worried later because I just don't understand what could be wrong. I need to hope that she will just do some big growing in the next two weeks! 

2. C-sections can take anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour start to finish depending on the doctor. Thats not so bad! 

3. Since I find "Skin-to-skin" time with the baby right after birth to be very important and healthy, I will have to be pushy in the OR and try to force someone to hold my naked little baby up to my chest as they are finishing stitching me up after the procedure (my arms will be strapped to side boards - aaaahhh). But this can be done! I just have to be pushy!!! I learned this from some random mommy blogs and it was nice to know! That was one of my main concerns with having a c-section. Look up the benefits of "Skin-to-skin"... its amazing and it was a really cool bonding experience! We did skin-to-skin time a lot for the first few weeks and it was really calming for me and baby. 

I tried to keep my online research light last night so as not to panic! I avoided horror stories and webMD!!!

Another tale from the ER....

This time it was me, not the three-year-old who had to go to the ER. Don't worry, baby girl and I are healthy and safe and there were no emergency deliveries!

Here's the story... Excuse the grammar and run-ons, I am typing quick so I can get back to my day of bed-rest!

PART 1 - The Scary Incident:  I had a nervous nauseous stomach all morning and couldn't figure out why. I wasn't actually nervous about anything, just felt queazy!  First period went off without a hitch! The lab went well, the kids did great, and life was good. Between classes, I started seeing a bright spot in my left eye... It seamed like when you stare directly into a light or the sun or even a camera flash and you see that weird light in your eye for a few seconds. This was not your ordinary spot! This spot wouldn't go away. I wasn't worried yet though. I closed the blinds in my classroom thinking that the sun was too bright. Kids left, new ones came in... Still a bright spot in my left eye... Next there were a bunch of spots and a blurred peripheral, so trippy - aaahhhh! I adjusted my contact lens and it was fine... I looked down to read an email and realized that I couldn't see it very well because the words were moving and shifting around, and that my left hand also seamed strangely uncoordinated... this is when panic set in! Blurry left eye and sort of tingly uncoordinated left hand... I immediately sat down in my big comfy desk chair, told the kids to get started on their warm-ups and writing down their homework, and called my classroom aide over to me (A woman that helps a group of kids with special needs who are in that class).  Remember that I am 36 weeks pregnant at this point, can barely see out of my left eye, and can't coordinate my right hand properly! I am in a panic! I explain to the aide what is happening and she asks me some questions, we decide to call my principal over... My boss is awesome! She is a mother of three and was very sweet and calm through this whole ordeal. She immediately radioed the office to call paramedics (against my pleading to not call them and that I would be fine - I am so dumb sometimes)... I was so worried about the baby.... Since it was only on one side of my body, I was thinking of blood pressure and preeclampsia and heart attacks and having an emergency C-Section to get the baby out, which is a bit too early for my liking... What if I die of heart attack and my children have no mother... AAAHHHH!!!I was sooooo scared! My vision in my left eye was still practically gone and my left hand was still weird... They cleared my scared classroom full of kids out to the library and the paramedics came in... There were 4-5 of them... there was poking and prodding and questions and oxygen tubes in my nose and blood pressure apparatuses and heart monitors... It was crazy and caused more panic! I was slow to react to their questions and it was just craziness! My hubby showed up lightning fast from his school which is only about 5 minutes away and looked so worried and helpless. The medics found that my blood sugar, pressure, heart rate, etc. were all normal and that it wasn't anything heart related. None-the-less, they had to take me to a hospital to be checked out and make sure the baby is doing well and find out what is wrong with me. The entire time all of this was happening around me, baby girl #2 was kicking excitedly in my belly, which helped ease my mind a little bit... After about a 30 minutes from the start of the whole thing, my vision had returned and my hand was back to normal as well... I was still very shaken up and terrified!

PART 2 - The Ambulance Ride: They wheeled me into the ambulance in the middle of campus near my classroom - so embarrassing right?!?!  Jon followed in his car behind the ambulance the whole 20 minute drive to our Kaiser hospital. I could see him in the window, which was comforting! He was terrified! The medic  in the back with me was really nice and just chatted with me the whole time - I think they have to do that to make sure that the patient is responsive. I was just scared, but his small talk helped ease my tension a little. I still was so panicked that I couldn't recall basic information about myself! It was so weird! An ambulance ride is the bumpiest ride in the whole world! Especially for a pregnant woman who is laying uncomfortably on a stretcher and really has to pee!  Somehow the medic was able to perform putting an IV with a saline block during Mr. Toads Wild Ride, without hurting me! What a magician he is! He was awesome!

Part 3: The Hospital: Once at the hospital, they checked all my vitals again. They used a "Doppler" and found the baby's heart beat and she was great and moving around in there so much that the nurse had trouble getting an actual reading! Go go baby girl!!! That eased my mind so much to know that she was happy and not in distress in my tummy! All of my other vitals were fine and clear. We were so confused as to what could be wrong with me. It wasn't a random panic attack! I didn't actually panic until after I couldn't see out of one of my precious eyes!!! Jon paced nervously around the tiny room until the doctor finally came in. He immediately said "Sounds like you had an Ocular Migraine"... a What???? I have never had a migraine in my life and furthermore I didn't have a headache!?!? What a quack I initially thought - until I listened to what he had to say... He described the symptoms I had experienced perfectly... He talked about seeing bright flashes and spots and not being able to focus or read out of only one eye.... he mentioned how it affected my hand... he even asked if I currently had a headache and ya know, I did, a very small head ache above my right eye... he said the head ache is usually found on the opposite side of the head of the visual disturbance because your left brain controls your right and visa-versa.  Often times an "ocular migraine" occurs with no headache at all, or in my case, a tiny little headache that went away very quickly. Baby girl #2 was checked again via ultrasound and she was still just fine! We were sent home by lunch time to rest and regroup!

Part 4: OCULAR MIGRAINES: Apparently women (or some men) can experience any type of migraine due to stress, sleep loss, or hormonal changes. Ocular Migraines are just one specific type. Migraines are hereditary ladies (sorry)! After talking to my mom, she shared that she had had these while pregnant and even a couple before pregnancy and later in life - she never knew what they were though.  She thinks my aunt experienced them while pregnant too but was going to check.  I guess pregnant women sometimes (fairly rare unless they already have a history) experience these due to hormonal changes at the beginning or end of pregnancy. I am hoping that this was an isolated incident and the doctor even said I may never have one again. He said they usually start during puberty in women or even in their early twenties. Anyway, I am here and safe and so is baby girl!!! If one of my eyes freaks out on me again (like it took its own little hit of acid), I will not panic! I will sit and rest until it passes. These things usually last for about a half of an hour.

So that is my fun little story! I am okay! I taking an extra day to rest just to be cautious! Back to work for me tomorrow!

Post Baby Birth Control and the Old Snip-Snip!

I was just thinking about post baby birth control and how annoying it can be. Your doctor or nurse will offer you a "mini-pill" to take while breast feeding because there is a slight chance that you could get pregnant while breast feeding. The fact is that if you accidentally got pregnant quickly after giving birth to your baby, the new pregnancy would likely result in miscarriage and/or health issues. It just isn't healthy to get pregnant right away after having a baby! You need to give your body time to heal and get back to business as usual first. So some pushy medical professional will be pushing pills on you like a drug dealer.

After giving birth to my daughter, they gave me the "mini-pill" and told me that as soon as I was done breast feeding I would need to start taking a regular birth control pill, so that is what I did... Funny, yet natural things happen to your body and hormones after having a child. When I started taking the pill in my late teens/early twenties, it was wonderful. It made my periods lighter and my PMS barely noticeable. It was smooth sailing and it really regulated my hormones and made me feel more balanced. Before the pill, I was a hormonal mess! After having Emily, my body and hormones were so different that the pill was actually causing me problems. Problems that were so bad there was no point in taking the pill to begin with because the sex was less likely to happen anyway! It caused me to have longer periods and crazy (CRAZY) PMS symptoms among other things. I gave up after a few months of hell and stopped taking the pill and my body went back to normal. Nice easy short and light periods and easy going PMS.  I guess babies are good for our bodies! 

Dealing with any sort of birth control ever, from condoms to the pill, is just a pain! It isn't convenient or sexy! It is necessary, but can be a mood killer, especially when you don't have much time to "get it on" anyways due to the new crying pooping machine (baby) in your lives.

One thing I am really looking forward to after baby girl #2 comes (very soon) is getting my husband "snipped". I can't wait!  Its like Christmas for me!!! We only want two kids and can really only handle and afford two kids. Once this baby comes out and is healthy and good to go, my hubby will be scheduling himself a much needed vasectomy.  It will be so nice not to have to worry about accidentally having a #3.  It will be so nice to never think about any sort of birth control ever again! When he has his doubts about getting the procedure done, I just remind him of his friends who have had it done and ask "aren't you more manly and tough than they are honey???" It works like a charm! See, sometimes the male ego is a good thing!  

Men are so weird about their man parts! I have had an entire human being come out of my hoo-hoo while several people watched and helped, and plan to do it again in a few weeks, and yet these men worry about a quick little snip-snip that they won't even feel in their sack! They get to lay on the couch for a couple of days with some frozen peas on their junk hopped up on pain meds watching sports, and then they are back in business! 

There is a secret evil part of me deep down that can't wait to see what a baby he is about the whole thing when it happens. I know its mean and cruel, but the heart wants what the heart wants! 

In conclusion ladies, I truly believe that after you and your man are done having the babies, it his his job to get snipped! It is what is fair and what is right! Don't feel bad for him! Don't let him off the hook! You have done your part and suffered with birth control long enough. You have powered through labor and delivery and breast feeding and all of the thankless parts of being a mother. It is his turn to take one for the team! So take him out of the ball game ladies!!!!