Pregnant Mommy Melt Downs happen from time to time. It is normal, even though at the time it feels like anything but! I am having a melt down kind of day today. I am only writing through my melt down in the hopes that if this happens to you, you will remember my blog and think "I am not crazy... this happens to other pregnant women too!" or even "I'm not half the crazy bitch that Mindy is, so this melt down isn't so bad".
I woke up this morning super early feeling energetic and had lots of big plans for myself and my three year old. Within a couple of hours, my energy was already zapped and my back was bothering me. To make matters worse, I have a little cough due to allergies. I just don't feel right today mentally or physically! I know that these kinds of days happen as a pregnant woman but its extra tough when you have to put on a happy face for your energetic three year old and carry on with your day. Did I mention a very opinionated three year old who is very into testing my limits this week?
My brain is moving fast - thinking of all these things I want and need to do before school starts in a little over a week and before the baby comes. My body; however, can't keep up with my busy brain and that can be a little bit of a downer. I didn't realize that being a pregnant woman with a toddler is about 10 times harder than just being a pregnant woman! Women do this all the time, I tell myself... How do women do this? Why am I not better at it? These thoughts come into my head and then I feel like a total wuss and then my eyes start to tear up and the melt down soon washes over me! During the melt down, it all comes out... all of the worry... rational or not... How am I going to make it to week 40 if I am already this ridiculous at week 33? How am I going to go back to work and teach for 4-6 weeks before this baby comes? What if they put me on bed rest? What if the baby comes too early??? I am not ready yet! My sub plans aren't finished - hell I don't even have a sub yet... my breast pump that I loaned out and got back is missing the tubes! What will I do without the tubes? Why don't Target and Babys R freaking Us cary extra tubes??? I need to order some dam breast pump tubes! The worries go on and on, but I think you get the idea! I don't want to make anyone else hyperventilate with me! It is ridiculous! I am a grown ass woman! I am strong and tough and should be able to handle all of this - right!? I know that later I will calm down and figure out a way to make all of this work and all will be fine, but right now, this is how I feel. I haven't had a big melt down in at least a month, so I guess its my right as a pregnant woman to be a little emotional and crazy today. It is just such an icky feeling!
My husband thinks I'm nuts and can't really understand what I am going through, well because he has nuts, which means that he is naturally pretty unemotional and insensitive! He can't help it really - its that dam Y chromosome! They can't understand why a person would cry at all, especially with no real reason! He is perplexed by this for sure! He has to be able to fix the problem or he can't deal. We have been together for eight years and he still can't manage in any sort of crisis that involves me crying! He had a couple of long-term girlfriends before me, they must have cried at some point, why didn't that prepare him for me? Girls cry from time to time! I even tend to believe that I cry less than the average woman! I don't get it... That is what exes are for! They prep you for the real deal! Right??? What a huge failure on the part of these girls!? I am disappointed in them! I should write them a note!
Ok crazy ramblings of a broken down pregnant woman are done... I will try to post something warm and fuzzy for my Monday blog! If I have another bad day, I will just post a picture of a puppy and a kitten cuddling so that you don't have to read something like this ever again.
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